Why?

There are some things I don’t understand about my gender. Forget explaining, I’ll just list them.

Why? Why, oh why must you shave off your eyebrows just to draw them back on?! Every time I see a woman who got eyebrows drawn on, I look up at the sky and hope it doesn’t rain.
What’s this fascination with calling your friends, as well as yourself, a ‘bitch’? How can you get upset when a man call you a ‘bitch’? What the hell is wrong with you? Why?!
Those fake nails you get at the nail salon or whatever, how? How can you wear those things? Which leads to my next question:
If it itch, and you got to take your hand and slap yourself in the head to make it stop itching, why put yourself through the trouble of getting a quick weave (I watched someone put a quick-weave in someone’s head, that crap is not quick) in the first place? Who told you slapping yourself would make it stop itching?
What is the point in thongs? Who wants a thin piece of cloth up their booty? How does that feel in 90-105 degree weather?
Do you wear fake eyelashes? If so, how do you not feel like you’re about to take flight? Those things are huge; they look like wings. The lashes look like feathers from bald-eagles.
I can wear heels; sensible, with a reasonable height heels. Why are you wearing Stilettos (stilts) walking up the street and you look like you’re walking on hot coals (well in this case HOT bunions)? Is the pain to look good really worth it? I mean come on, the sidewalk is uneven and there’s gravel everywhere. I know you feel that.
Why wear a short dress if you’re just going to keep pulling it down? You knew what you were doing when you put it on. Don’t act like you didn’t realize the dress hike’s up until you stepped outside. You look foolish. It’s almost as bad as people who sag but have the nerve to lace a belt and yet, they still have to pull up their pants.
Maybe I’m from a different planet but direct me to the person who thought looking like a fish out of water or a duck on roofies was okay to do in photos. Why do you do that?!
Okay, if your natural hair is auburn brown why is your drawstring pony-tail jet-black? I’m starting to believe y’all do that kind of stuff to upset people.